Leukemia in Lebanon, remembrance in Lahore: Part I of the Italian journey

I recently found out what became of a dear little girl Yasmin (I've changed her name to protect her identity). I thought I'd share a little bit about her here since she was supposed to have a bone marrow transplant...

As I write this my heart is filled with a sadness I cannot explain in words. I can still picture Dana and Haitham, the Lebanese couple who had an ailing eight year old daughter, Yasmin, being brought in to the hospital, the Policlinico San Matteo, in Italy.

After spending a month in the Italian hospital and going through chemotherapy for her chronic leukemia, the doctors in Italy had told her that she had no hope left. The parents, Dana and Haitham either had the option of putting their daughter, suffering from leukemia, fighting it with successive chemos, since the past five years, to go through an experimental bone marrow transplant (the effects of which were completely unknown and so risky that there was a likelihood that she could have abnormalities or severe complications for the rest of her life)…or they could take her home. I remember Dana’s words, four months ago, when she was telling me all that the doctors had finally told them. She said, ‘They want us to wait and take her home. And I’m supposed to sit home and wait for my daughter to die? Just like that…Why did my daughter have to come so far away from home to go through so much suffering?...’.

I think some amount of reason prevailed and Dana and Haitham decided then that they would rather go back home to Lebanon, to their little three year old daughter Tammy. They wanted to let the two little sisters play together and be together for possibly the last few months or weeks of Yasmin’s life. Nobody knew when she would go, when she would die. Just that it was near the end…

A Warm Welcome To My Support & Guidance Group

Hello and welcome to my support blog for patients and their families who are going through chemotherapy, blood transfusions or a bone marrow transplant.

I'd like to begin with a background as to why I've started this blog.

I'm sure there are a lot of support groups out there that are run by psychiatrists or doctors but I felt that I had learnt so much in my twelve years of first hand experience in handling near and dear ones fight cancer and then see my own daughter struggle through over six years (to date) of transfusions and bone marrow transplants...that I know it is now my responsibility as a surviving human being to share all that I have learnt. If all that I write helps anyone in pain out there in any way at all then it would give me a deep sense of relief, contentment and humility.

There are so many little things the doctors don't explain and the psychiatrists sometimes overlook. Things only a person going through the pain can understand or a parent seeing his or her own child can feel.

I hope to explain many misconceptions of blood disorder related practical problems and the pitfalls related with bone marrow transplants in my posts.

I came back from Italy to Pakistan two months ago after my daughter got her medical treatment there. We experienced the most extraordinary incidents, some related with medical issues, some with pain, some with losing friends to death, some with language and communication issues and some even with clashes of faith, culture and racism.

I am deeply grateful to the doctors at the Policlinico San Matteo, Pavia, Italy, who did a wonderful job but....there are many 'BUTS'!

When we were living in Italy, it was something like living in 'un altra mondo' ( a different world) and I want to capture all the friendships made with people from different countries and faiths, the pain and suffering of chemo, the successes and the tragedies at the hospital, the politics and how it affected the patients... all in the form of a memoir. I know that this account will be most invaluable to patients, doctors, psychiatrists, social workers and ordinary people who will learn to live and enjoy the most precious gift they've got: LIFE.

I also want to write it because I want my 6 year old daughter's courage and struggle to not be erased and forgotten from memory...but to live on and give others the same courage and support that she gave to me. My daughter has really shown me how to live and I pray to God that she has a beautiful and fulfilling life ahead of her.

Since this blog is meant as a support group, please feel more than welcome to ask any questions which you might feel are 'too silly to ask the doctor'. It is my hope that I will be able to help but my promise that I will do my best to guide you.